Check out G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talking with Zachary Zane at Men’s Health about what it means to be a power bottom
Check out G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talking with Zachary Zane at Men’s Health about what it means to be a power bottom.
What is a power bottom?
“They're the kind of sex partner who doesn't just lie there—instead, a power bottom ‘takes an active, confident, and directive role’ during sex, says Jesse Kahn, LCSW, CST, sex therapist and director of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York. ‘They might be 'receiving,' but they’re not passive.’ For example, they might control the tempo of sex and depth of penetration or tell the top partner to switch positions.”
“‘Like any sexual identity or descriptor, the meaning can totally vary from person to person depending on how they relate to power, pleasure, and control,’ says Kahn. ‘What matters most is how you define it for yourself.’”
“being a power bottom is really a state of mind; it's knowing that when you decide to have sex with someone, it is their privilege. ‘Think: 'I’m getting fucked, but I’m still running the show'—that’s the vibe,’ adds Kahn.”
How to figure out if you’re a power bottom
“‘If you’re a bottom who finds yourself directing the pace, giving instructions, and/or taking control of your pleasure in an active way, you might consider if the term 'power bottom' is a good fit for you,’ says Kahn. ‘It’s less about switching roles and more about embracing confidence, control, or assertiveness while still being the receptive partner.’”
“To figure out if being a power bottom feels good to you, consider trying these strategies from Kahn:
Initiate sex.
Guide the other person’s/people’s movements.
Set the tone by sharing what you like and leading with your desires.
Experiment with shifting power dynamics, through dirty talk, positioning, or eye contact that says, ‘I'm in charge.’
Essentially, being a power bottom is ‘all about leaning into what feels empowering to you while staying connected and communicative,’ says Kahn. Meaning, anyone can try taking on this role in the bedroom, and everyone can—and should—enjoy the experience.”
More from G&STC director Jesse Kahn on this topic:
An important reminder
Being a power bottom is not a more or less important or valid role.