Check out G&STC Director Jesse Kahn speaking with Gabrielle Kassel at Men’s Health about positions to bring variety into your sex life.
The Spider
How to: Both partners begin facing each other, sitting on the bed with their knees bent and hands behind them for support. The giver spreads their thighs to make room for the receiver’s lower body, as the receiver scooches forward, planting their feet on either side of their partner’s hips, until their entrance is lined up with their partner’s shaft. Now both partners can rock their hips back and forth together.
Benefits: “Spider creates a unique angle that can make it easier to combine the sensations of penetration with that of external stimulation, which often contributes more to pleasure,” says Kahn. Plus, both partners can still maintain eye contact while viewing the action at center stage.
Also try: For more leverage, the receiver can grab the giver’s hands and pull themselves into a squatting position (a.k.a. Squatting Rider).
Hot tip: The open space between both partners’ bodies leaves plenty of room for ~activities~. For example, either partner can stimulate the receiver’s clitoris with their hands or a vibrator with a long handle, like the Magic Wand.
Spoon
Also known as: The Sleeper Hold
How to: Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the giver in back. The receiving partner bends their knees and pushes their rear back toward the giver for easier access to their vagina or anus.
Benefits: The Spooning position allows for full-body contact, which can help you feel more comfortable and close with your partner, says Kahn. “It can also feel less physically demanding than many other positions, making it a great option for people with chronic pain or mobility differences,” they add. Plus, this position is a strong candidate if a partner is pregnant or if one or both partners have bigger bellies, since neither person has to support the other’s full weight.
Also try: The receiver can bend or lift their top leg to change the angle of penetration and increase the sensation of fullness (more on that below).
Hot tip: The giver is well-positioned for the ‘ole reach-around, allowing them to stimulate the receiver externally with fingers or a small bullet vibe.
Open-Legged Spoon
How to: From standard Spoon position (above), the receiving partner lifts their top leg and drapes it backward over the penetrating partner's hips.
Benefits: The Open-Legged Spoon is everything you love about the classic spoon position… but with even “more space for clitoral access,” says Kahn. “It also changes the angle of penetration, which may increase stimulation depending on each person's body and the type of penetration they're enjoying.”
Hot tip: Lifting the receiver’s top leg creates enough room between the partners’ bodies to accommodate a larger toy that might feel clunky during standard Spoon. Try slipping the bulbous head of a wand vibrator against the receiver’s front for some extra va-va-voom.
Spoon, Facing
Also known as: Sidewinder
How to: Begin by lying on your sides and facing one another. Then, the receiving partner spreads their legs slightly to allow the penetrating partner to enter them. Once connected, the partners can rock or grind their hips together. (This position is similar to Sideways Missionary, but the receiver’s leg placement creates a snugger fit for the giver’s shaft.)
Benefits: Because both partners are lying close together, this position naturally encourages smaller movements such as grinding, circular, and up-and-down motions that can enhance clitoral stimulation, says Kahn. Plus, it’s a very intimate face-to-face position that encourages hugging, kissing, and sweet talking.
Hot tip: There’s not much room to maneuver a handheld vibrator between your bodies, but a wearable toy like the We-Vibe Pivot 2 or Chorus Pro can add a little extra buzz without the interference.
More from G&STC Director Jesse Kahn on this subject:
There is no "best" sex position because pleasure is highly individual and often changes throughout our lives and our relationships. One of the joys of sex is that you can move between positions, so a more physically demanding or adventurous position can be followed by one that is slower, more relaxing, and focused on comfort and connection. Staying curious, checking in with each other, and adapting as you go is often what makes sex feel satisfying, regardless of the position.
Sex is about more than our bodies. Sex is our imagination, the stories we tell ourselves, the roles we consciously explore, the power dynamics we negotiate, and the meanings we assign to touch all shape pleasure. Sex can be a space to try on different identities, ways of expressing gender, or relational dynamics that may not be available in everyday life, creating opportunities to explore embodiment, connection, and authenticity in ways that feel exciting and affirming. Our minds play a huge part in sexual adventurousness.